I decided that I would delete all previous post as they were ghosts of the past. One cannot focus on moving forward when there is negative energy holding us back, which this blog did.
I released all the posts about my previous reality so that my current reality and the one that I am moving forward to could have all of my energy and focus.
Project Manifestation Now!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Emotional Guidance System (EGS)
I have been listening to Abraham-Hicks lately and I started to read "Ask And It Is Given". Amazing stuff!
I have also been listening to a recorded version of "The Science Of Getting Rich" as read by Brad Yates and what uplifting information it all is. I have found that what Abraham-Hicks is very similar to what Napolean Hill says in his book "The Science Of Getting Rich", and also what other LOA believers say.
It amazes me that a man born in the 1800's was talking about this LOA stuff way before Ester Hicks was, and before Brad Yates and even before Bob Proctor.
I like the concept of the EGS. There are really only two types of feelings: good or bad. I understand that. Either you feel goods of you feel bad. I ask myself, does this feel good? Yes? Then keep doing it. If it doesn't, then do something else.
I've been having these spiritual moments over the last month and it feels amazing. Sometimes I start to feel scared, or not deserving of these experiences or that they aren't real, but then I catch myself and allow myself to trust what is happening and feel joyful.
Amazing what has been happening since I started watching The Secret nearly one month ago.
Truly amazing!
I have also been listening to a recorded version of "The Science Of Getting Rich" as read by Brad Yates and what uplifting information it all is. I have found that what Abraham-Hicks is very similar to what Napolean Hill says in his book "The Science Of Getting Rich", and also what other LOA believers say.
It amazes me that a man born in the 1800's was talking about this LOA stuff way before Ester Hicks was, and before Brad Yates and even before Bob Proctor.
I like the concept of the EGS. There are really only two types of feelings: good or bad. I understand that. Either you feel goods of you feel bad. I ask myself, does this feel good? Yes? Then keep doing it. If it doesn't, then do something else.
I've been having these spiritual moments over the last month and it feels amazing. Sometimes I start to feel scared, or not deserving of these experiences or that they aren't real, but then I catch myself and allow myself to trust what is happening and feel joyful.
Amazing what has been happening since I started watching The Secret nearly one month ago.
Truly amazing!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
So much to learn
It seems that everywhere I turn, I am met with someone who has the answer or solution or course to what I am searching for and their material is worded in a way that implies if you don't buy their "stuff" then you're not really serious about taking the next step.
I can see that many people are in this alternative and self help field because it is a racket for them, in it for the quick cash that desperate people hand over, but I have made a decision that I will review their "stuff" and if it sets off any guilt or urgency "time is running out" feeling, then I will pass it up. I figure if their "stuff" truly is intended with love and healing, it will be available as a constant and not be used to make people feel bad if they don't buy it.
So, that aside, I have been watching The Secret (30 day challenge), I have started to watch videos of Abraham-Hicks and listening to web based teleconferences with great people who all have their version of self help, manifesting wealth and achieving optimum code. I still listen to Brad Yates in the morning, I am still studying Robert Smith and I am still wanting to help others with EFT. I am however, placing myself first in this process.
I have intended to the universe my desires and I am following the breadcrumbs, where ever they may lead. This is exciting!
I can see that many people are in this alternative and self help field because it is a racket for them, in it for the quick cash that desperate people hand over, but I have made a decision that I will review their "stuff" and if it sets off any guilt or urgency "time is running out" feeling, then I will pass it up. I figure if their "stuff" truly is intended with love and healing, it will be available as a constant and not be used to make people feel bad if they don't buy it.
So, that aside, I have been watching The Secret (30 day challenge), I have started to watch videos of Abraham-Hicks and listening to web based teleconferences with great people who all have their version of self help, manifesting wealth and achieving optimum code. I still listen to Brad Yates in the morning, I am still studying Robert Smith and I am still wanting to help others with EFT. I am however, placing myself first in this process.
I have intended to the universe my desires and I am following the breadcrumbs, where ever they may lead. This is exciting!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Forgiveness
Today, Samira Daoud was sentenced to 6 years in jail for killing 16-year-old Alex Hayes. She was drunk, on a suspended license and she was so drunk, she didn't even know she struck someone. Alex died, alone in a ditch, broken and alone.
When I first read this story before Christmas, my first thoughts and feelings were of rage, hatred and revenge. Especially when I read that she had already been convicted of driving under the influence and she continued to drive on a suspended license.
Today, as I read the sentence, I felt nothing but compassion for Samira Daoud as well as for the family of Alex Hayes. I mentally gathered all the compassion and forgiveness I could muster inside myself and sent it to her and to the families on both sides. It is not easy for either side to deal with this loss.
Is what she did forgivable? She will need to forgive herself in order to survive. If some of the stories that she survived are true, she is living a nightmare locked inside of her and she is her own jailer.
Alex Hayes' family, need to forgive in order to honour Alex' life and not focus on the last few hours of his life and its horrendous, unfair and despicable end. Alex is not his death or the way he died. He was a vibrant and fun-loving teenager from what I read. In order for his family to not live in the same hell that Ms Daoud lives in, forgiveness is what will allow them to move past the pain and into happy memories of their beloved Alex.
I understand that the pain is still fresh and that no matter what the sentence was, it would not have been enough and cannot bring Alex back. It could have been 10 years, or 25 or life in prisons, it still wouldn't have been enough. Ms Daoud will punish herself more than anyone can ever know or understand. You see, she had a sister killed by a drunk driver, and the pain of that caused her to become what she hated the most.
Ms Daoud has received a life sentence, in her mind and spirit, she is suffering.
Even the most evil of humans deserve forgiveness and it is not for us to deny them that right.
There will be no healing without forgiveness. For anyone.
When I first read this story before Christmas, my first thoughts and feelings were of rage, hatred and revenge. Especially when I read that she had already been convicted of driving under the influence and she continued to drive on a suspended license.
Today, as I read the sentence, I felt nothing but compassion for Samira Daoud as well as for the family of Alex Hayes. I mentally gathered all the compassion and forgiveness I could muster inside myself and sent it to her and to the families on both sides. It is not easy for either side to deal with this loss.
Is what she did forgivable? She will need to forgive herself in order to survive. If some of the stories that she survived are true, she is living a nightmare locked inside of her and she is her own jailer.
Alex Hayes' family, need to forgive in order to honour Alex' life and not focus on the last few hours of his life and its horrendous, unfair and despicable end. Alex is not his death or the way he died. He was a vibrant and fun-loving teenager from what I read. In order for his family to not live in the same hell that Ms Daoud lives in, forgiveness is what will allow them to move past the pain and into happy memories of their beloved Alex.
I understand that the pain is still fresh and that no matter what the sentence was, it would not have been enough and cannot bring Alex back. It could have been 10 years, or 25 or life in prisons, it still wouldn't have been enough. Ms Daoud will punish herself more than anyone can ever know or understand. You see, she had a sister killed by a drunk driver, and the pain of that caused her to become what she hated the most.
Ms Daoud has received a life sentence, in her mind and spirit, she is suffering.
Even the most evil of humans deserve forgiveness and it is not for us to deny them that right.
There will be no healing without forgiveness. For anyone.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Pain is a gift
I was sitting on the bus on my way home and I started to mentally tap on my neck pain. I had a car accident in 1991 and my car was totaled, but I walked away but I've had severe neck pain that flares up depending on the stress in my life, and if I maintain a certain position with my arm (at the keyboard using the mouse a lot) and riding a bike (which I haven't done since 1992).
So, I've got my eyes closed and remembering what Robert Smith says, pain is an emotion manifested physically in the body. So I'm tapping away "I choose to release this pain and whatever it represents" (I can't associate a feeling with it) so I'm repeating this mantra and then I add "I'm open and willing to find out what it represents" and I'm tapping mentally, and I get this sense of calm (this is the part I love!).
Then I realize that pain has has been the point where my body screams that I can't keep doing what I'm doing, change something (position, stop doing that, do this instead) since I have learned to ignore my internal voice - physical pain seems to be the only way I will acknowledge what is happening. And, when I haven't listened to the initial pain, my body amped it up until it shut down.
In 2005, I had been ignoring the depression that was creeping in since 1999, I kept working in a job that I absolutely hated and brought me nothing but stress, panic attacks and nightmares and a burn out. When I had started to feel more anxious AND didn't stop/change/or do something else, my body gave me migraines. One day I woke up, one month before my 40th birthday, with severe migraines. I still hadn't learned my lesson, so the migraines got worse and I ended up in the ER three times over the next month. Then the nausea kicked in, lights and sounds made me sicker (scents and odours would bring on instant migraines and severe nausea), until I accepted time off. I still didn't change/stop/do something else just yet.
I actually went back to that job but I started to look for something else. By a comedy of errors, I ended up resigning and tried to take it back but they refused to let me back. THANK GOD!!!!!
For the next three months, I stayed unemployed and got a little better. The migraines started to calm down, light didn't hurt my eyes so much although scents (perfumes, colognes) would still bother me (like air being sucked out of the room).
I took a contract which lasted for two years in an office environment and I got better and less sick.
Did I learn my lesson about working in an environment that had made me so sick initially? OF COURSE NOT! I took a job back into the previous environment (because the money was great and it was a foot in the door to the federal government) and what had taken me years to become so sick, started happening within one year of the new job. I had a severe burn out and lung infections, and migraines and asthma attacks and panic attacks and then other physical things started to happen (dislocated hip) until I was forced to go back off work.
All this to say that my body produced pain to stop me as I wasn't listening to the initial signs that what I was doing wasn't working and I needed to stop doing those things.
You see, growing up, any weakness was shameful. I saw my mother with the same attitude end up in a psych ward and when she didn't clue into that, a major heart attack, and when that didn't get her attention, another heart attack and eventually three heart bi-passes and then total illness and permanent disability.
So pain has been a gift to me and I hadn't noticed until today.
Gratitude doesn't begin to describe how I feel about pain right now.
I honour pain, it has been my most caring friend.
So, I've got my eyes closed and remembering what Robert Smith says, pain is an emotion manifested physically in the body. So I'm tapping away "I choose to release this pain and whatever it represents" (I can't associate a feeling with it) so I'm repeating this mantra and then I add "I'm open and willing to find out what it represents" and I'm tapping mentally, and I get this sense of calm (this is the part I love!).
Then I realize that pain has has been the point where my body screams that I can't keep doing what I'm doing, change something (position, stop doing that, do this instead) since I have learned to ignore my internal voice - physical pain seems to be the only way I will acknowledge what is happening. And, when I haven't listened to the initial pain, my body amped it up until it shut down.
In 2005, I had been ignoring the depression that was creeping in since 1999, I kept working in a job that I absolutely hated and brought me nothing but stress, panic attacks and nightmares and a burn out. When I had started to feel more anxious AND didn't stop/change/or do something else, my body gave me migraines. One day I woke up, one month before my 40th birthday, with severe migraines. I still hadn't learned my lesson, so the migraines got worse and I ended up in the ER three times over the next month. Then the nausea kicked in, lights and sounds made me sicker (scents and odours would bring on instant migraines and severe nausea), until I accepted time off. I still didn't change/stop/do something else just yet.
I actually went back to that job but I started to look for something else. By a comedy of errors, I ended up resigning and tried to take it back but they refused to let me back. THANK GOD!!!!!
For the next three months, I stayed unemployed and got a little better. The migraines started to calm down, light didn't hurt my eyes so much although scents (perfumes, colognes) would still bother me (like air being sucked out of the room).
I took a contract which lasted for two years in an office environment and I got better and less sick.
Did I learn my lesson about working in an environment that had made me so sick initially? OF COURSE NOT! I took a job back into the previous environment (because the money was great and it was a foot in the door to the federal government) and what had taken me years to become so sick, started happening within one year of the new job. I had a severe burn out and lung infections, and migraines and asthma attacks and panic attacks and then other physical things started to happen (dislocated hip) until I was forced to go back off work.
All this to say that my body produced pain to stop me as I wasn't listening to the initial signs that what I was doing wasn't working and I needed to stop doing those things.
You see, growing up, any weakness was shameful. I saw my mother with the same attitude end up in a psych ward and when she didn't clue into that, a major heart attack, and when that didn't get her attention, another heart attack and eventually three heart bi-passes and then total illness and permanent disability.
So pain has been a gift to me and I hadn't noticed until today.
Gratitude doesn't begin to describe how I feel about pain right now.
I honour pain, it has been my most caring friend.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tapping on money issues
I bought the 6 month tapping into wealth program by Margaret Lynch, and today I listened to week 2. The exercise was identifying financial trauma, I listed the biggest one I had. My ex-husband not paying his child support for more than 12 years. I had to chase him down, sneakily find out from my son if he was working and where so I could notify the family responsibility office of where he was, since they were back logged with dead beat parents, it would take them a year to find him and by then he would be long gone.
A lot of my anger about money then was that he was greedy and vengeful and hurt his child by withholding money meant to help raise his child. So for 12 years, my anger and rage kept me going. Never giving up on finding him and getting the money was due his child. During those years, I felt very stressed about money and where it would come from and I made some stupid decisions to try to make more money and ended up losing the money in MLM, pyramid and other get-rich-quick programs out there.
As I was tapping along to this protocol that Margaret was speaking, I got upset even though I thought I had let it go, but I also started to see him in a different light. I started to see as a small, petty, powerless man that was only reacting to having his child moved out of the province and his access gone. His only way to maintain some control in an otherwise powerless situation was to withhold money and lash out at me.
So, as I tapped, I started to see him as a fragile human being and I started to acknowledge his humanness and the anger started to dissipate.
Wonderful stuff this tapping!
A lot of my anger about money then was that he was greedy and vengeful and hurt his child by withholding money meant to help raise his child. So for 12 years, my anger and rage kept me going. Never giving up on finding him and getting the money was due his child. During those years, I felt very stressed about money and where it would come from and I made some stupid decisions to try to make more money and ended up losing the money in MLM, pyramid and other get-rich-quick programs out there.
As I was tapping along to this protocol that Margaret was speaking, I got upset even though I thought I had let it go, but I also started to see him in a different light. I started to see as a small, petty, powerless man that was only reacting to having his child moved out of the province and his access gone. His only way to maintain some control in an otherwise powerless situation was to withhold money and lash out at me.
So, as I tapped, I started to see him as a fragile human being and I started to acknowledge his humanness and the anger started to dissipate.
Wonderful stuff this tapping!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Emotionally Focused Transformation
When I heard Robert Smith say that in one of his videos, I knew that I had to do this!!!
I posted a video to Youtube setting my intentions to the Universe that what I want to do is take this gift to people and help them the way EFT has helped me (and continues to help me).
By addressing the emotions, people can transform their lives. I'm doing, hundreds of others are doing and reaping the benefits of transforming their lives for the better.
I posted a video to Youtube setting my intentions to the Universe that what I want to do is take this gift to people and help them the way EFT has helped me (and continues to help me).
By addressing the emotions, people can transform their lives. I'm doing, hundreds of others are doing and reaping the benefits of transforming their lives for the better.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Negative axioms
This is interesting. About a week ago I started to incorporate into my tapping scripts "Release all negative axioms that hold you down..." not sure where I got that saying actually, but it felt good to say it.
This afternoon I am doing my weekly grocery shopping and I am scanning the magazine isle (which I normally don't do) as I had this little voice nudging me to get something new to read. The magazines on prominent display are stuff I don't really care about, but a muscle magazine with a younger Arnold Schwarzenegger stops me. I look at it and put it back. Then I look on the bottom shelf, and way at the back I see a magazine called Wirework. I've never seen this magazine, didn't know it existed and I sure wasn't looking for it, but one of the headlines on the cover grabbed my attention. So in the cart it goes.
I get home, relax with a coffee and open the magazine to do an initial scan. I get to page 14 and start reading the article which begins with "Negative axioms - ", I got chills just reading it. I kept on reading, ..."statements or ideas that people accept as fact." OMG!
My whole childhood my mother (and older sister) told me that I just wasn't creative, not like my sisters who can draw, they said that I wasn't any good and anytime that I did try, my work was ridiculed, dismissed and tossed in the trash.
I couldn't believe that I would be re-affirmed in my beliefs to change myself from a wire jewelery magazine! I've had an interest in it for a long time, I've even studied it on Youtube but I had that little nagging voice telling me I wasn't creative and wouldn't be able to make these beautiful pieces of jewelry.
This just goes to show me that once I intended to the universe my desire to change my beliefs about me and my reality, that truths would start to emerge to show me who I really am and what it possible.
Amazing!
This afternoon I am doing my weekly grocery shopping and I am scanning the magazine isle (which I normally don't do) as I had this little voice nudging me to get something new to read. The magazines on prominent display are stuff I don't really care about, but a muscle magazine with a younger Arnold Schwarzenegger stops me. I look at it and put it back. Then I look on the bottom shelf, and way at the back I see a magazine called Wirework. I've never seen this magazine, didn't know it existed and I sure wasn't looking for it, but one of the headlines on the cover grabbed my attention. So in the cart it goes.
I get home, relax with a coffee and open the magazine to do an initial scan. I get to page 14 and start reading the article which begins with "Negative axioms - ", I got chills just reading it. I kept on reading, ..."statements or ideas that people accept as fact." OMG!
My whole childhood my mother (and older sister) told me that I just wasn't creative, not like my sisters who can draw, they said that I wasn't any good and anytime that I did try, my work was ridiculed, dismissed and tossed in the trash.
I couldn't believe that I would be re-affirmed in my beliefs to change myself from a wire jewelery magazine! I've had an interest in it for a long time, I've even studied it on Youtube but I had that little nagging voice telling me I wasn't creative and wouldn't be able to make these beautiful pieces of jewelry.
This just goes to show me that once I intended to the universe my desire to change my beliefs about me and my reality, that truths would start to emerge to show me who I really am and what it possible.
Amazing!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day 5 of The Secret
This is day 5 of watching the secret and I am understanding things at a different level. I sit there with a pen and notebook and write down things that strike me. I intended my EFT healing business and I got an answer a few minutes later about advertising it in this new age alternative monthly magazine that comes out here.
I am still learning EFT but now I feel that I have a more structured plan on how to manifest clients that need to work with me.
I am going to intend how I will know I am ready to take clients, but for now, I am content with being in this feeling of gratitude.
Reverend Doctor Michael Beckwith (one of the speakers in the movie), I just think he is phenomenal and speaks a honest passion that I find so attractive, physically, mentally, spiritually. I intend to meet him in person, he is one of the 6 people I would want to have time with in my life. I believe being in his presence, hearing him talk to me would be a spiritual experience.
Inner happiness is the fuel of success.
I am still learning EFT but now I feel that I have a more structured plan on how to manifest clients that need to work with me.
I am going to intend how I will know I am ready to take clients, but for now, I am content with being in this feeling of gratitude.
Reverend Doctor Michael Beckwith (one of the speakers in the movie), I just think he is phenomenal and speaks a honest passion that I find so attractive, physically, mentally, spiritually. I intend to meet him in person, he is one of the 6 people I would want to have time with in my life. I believe being in his presence, hearing him talk to me would be a spiritual experience.
Inner happiness is the fuel of success.
Tapping remotely
As I've watched Robert Smith on Youtube, I've come to learn that one can tap remotely for someone else. It's sometimes also called surrogate tapping.
The other morning I am sitting on the crowded bus going to work and a space next to me became free and this overweight woman squeezed herself in there. When I saw that she was going to get herself in there, my judgments on fat people kicked in. I started to repeat in my head what I always repeat which just upsets me more. I won't repeat what those things are as they serve no purpose now.
Then Robert's words started to crowd out the stinkin' thinkin' and I heard "Her weight is a symptom of what she is experiencing inside herself. Some people cope by drinking, or gambling, or shopping, but she copes by eating. And her weight probably is used as a shield, to create barriers around her".
So, I started mentally tapping and sending her healing and forgiveness for herself. I did this over and over again until I calmed down. I did this for me more than for her. And if a little of it settles in her mind, perhaps she will act on any feelings that produced in her and start to heal herself.
The other morning I am sitting on the crowded bus going to work and a space next to me became free and this overweight woman squeezed herself in there. When I saw that she was going to get herself in there, my judgments on fat people kicked in. I started to repeat in my head what I always repeat which just upsets me more. I won't repeat what those things are as they serve no purpose now.
Then Robert's words started to crowd out the stinkin' thinkin' and I heard "Her weight is a symptom of what she is experiencing inside herself. Some people cope by drinking, or gambling, or shopping, but she copes by eating. And her weight probably is used as a shield, to create barriers around her".
So, I started mentally tapping and sending her healing and forgiveness for herself. I did this over and over again until I calmed down. I did this for me more than for her. And if a little of it settles in her mind, perhaps she will act on any feelings that produced in her and start to heal herself.
Another update on the cat situation
The SPCA just called me and the cat has gotten worse, he is bleeding from the nose, mouth breathing and running a fewer.
So, they advised me they will put him to sleep.
Even though I actually only had the cat for 5 days, I bonded with it and gave it a name and loved it. Actually I started to love it when I found it one day on my stoop on one of the coldest days of December, and when I started to feed it, and getting it to trust me.
I feel responsible as it was my actions that brought him to the SPCA and eventually this moment of passing.
But I also comfort myself knowing that for his time here, he was loved and he lived like a spoiled house cat rather than a cold scared hungry abandoned cat.
RIP little Booda.
So, they advised me they will put him to sleep.
Even though I actually only had the cat for 5 days, I bonded with it and gave it a name and loved it. Actually I started to love it when I found it one day on my stoop on one of the coldest days of December, and when I started to feed it, and getting it to trust me.
I feel responsible as it was my actions that brought him to the SPCA and eventually this moment of passing.
But I also comfort myself knowing that for his time here, he was loved and he lived like a spoiled house cat rather than a cold scared hungry abandoned cat.
RIP little Booda.
Update on the cat situation
If you read the post "Fill In The Blanks Thursday" then you'll know I was feeling quite bad about a foster cat that I had to bring back to the SPCA because I felt like I was traumatizing it (and me) as I couldn't give it the medicine it needed and I felt its health was getting worse.
Well, later that day, after I blogged about it, I got a call from the SPCA that since I was the original finder of the stray that I was still able to adopt him and did I want to.
Of course!!!
So, over the next few days he will get the medicine from trained veterinary technicians and he won't associate the event with me.
So some more good news for me!
Well, later that day, after I blogged about it, I got a call from the SPCA that since I was the original finder of the stray that I was still able to adopt him and did I want to.
Of course!!!
So, over the next few days he will get the medicine from trained veterinary technicians and he won't associate the event with me.
So some more good news for me!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Discovered EFT on February 24th...
It's been 15 days since I came across EFT.
Not sure how I stumbled on it, but I think I was lead to it like breadcrumbs to the gingerbread house. Except what I found wasn't a wicked old witch ready to imprison me and cook me, but rather I found myself.
I was the witch who had imprisoned myself and I was slowly being eaten alive with emotional suffering that had numbed me to point of surrendering "Is this all I get?"
Even after years of one on one therapy, and even with all the great strides I had made, I was still saying "Is this all I get?"
Now, after two weeks, I see that there is so much more to my experience and I am learning to soar above who I was and move towards what I was meant to be. ME.
In order to be ME, I've got to be FREE.
Emotional Freedom Techniques is doing that by releasing the past and freeing me to live, fearlessly.
Not sure how I stumbled on it, but I think I was lead to it like breadcrumbs to the gingerbread house. Except what I found wasn't a wicked old witch ready to imprison me and cook me, but rather I found myself.
I was the witch who had imprisoned myself and I was slowly being eaten alive with emotional suffering that had numbed me to point of surrendering "Is this all I get?"
Even after years of one on one therapy, and even with all the great strides I had made, I was still saying "Is this all I get?"
Now, after two weeks, I see that there is so much more to my experience and I am learning to soar above who I was and move towards what I was meant to be. ME.
In order to be ME, I've got to be FREE.
Emotional Freedom Techniques is doing that by releasing the past and freeing me to live, fearlessly.
Incredible healing with EFT
I am always amazed at the depth of healing I can go to and not feel afraid of feeling the feelings. I think it is the physical tapping that intercepts the descent into the feeling to access it and making it easier to release it (It's like going down a dark hole into darkness but you have a rope tied to your waist and you feel safe, whereas before I felt like I was falling into the abyss and was afraid of being engulfed and never returning).
I was tapping on money and clearing the blocks I have to it and stuff just started to tumble out. Stuff that I had been on the peripherals all the time and I was able to experience the event that traumatized me but I was also able to heal it by forgiving the person that had offended me and I was able to forgive myself for picking up where this person left off, one event I had been torturing myself emotionally for 32 years. I healed and sent the person forgiveness and love, the universal kind of love, the kind that all living things deserve. Even the most evil of people have a drop of humanness and by acknowledging that they are who they are because of damage that was done to them in their lives, I am able to forgive them their humanness.
If I am deserving of forgiveness, then they are too. We all are. Every last one of us.
If I say that someone is not deserving of forgiveness, then I am stating that I know what is best over that who knows more than I do and always will. If I say that someone doesn't deserve to be forgiven then I hold on to judgment which interferes with my ability to forgive which is essential for healing.
Forgiveness is not an admission that what was done to us is excusable, but rather it is a release of the negative connection to that person so we can live our lives.
They will get what they ultimately deserve, forgiveness is not an absolution of their deeds, they will receive their punishment, it isn't for us to decide what that is. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so that we may let go of them and what they did. The memory is still there but the emotional charge that eats us alive isn't.
You don't forgive to release them, you forgive to release you.
I was tapping on money and clearing the blocks I have to it and stuff just started to tumble out. Stuff that I had been on the peripherals all the time and I was able to experience the event that traumatized me but I was also able to heal it by forgiving the person that had offended me and I was able to forgive myself for picking up where this person left off, one event I had been torturing myself emotionally for 32 years. I healed and sent the person forgiveness and love, the universal kind of love, the kind that all living things deserve. Even the most evil of people have a drop of humanness and by acknowledging that they are who they are because of damage that was done to them in their lives, I am able to forgive them their humanness.
If I am deserving of forgiveness, then they are too. We all are. Every last one of us.
If I say that someone is not deserving of forgiveness, then I am stating that I know what is best over that who knows more than I do and always will. If I say that someone doesn't deserve to be forgiven then I hold on to judgment which interferes with my ability to forgive which is essential for healing.
Forgiveness is not an admission that what was done to us is excusable, but rather it is a release of the negative connection to that person so we can live our lives.
They will get what they ultimately deserve, forgiveness is not an absolution of their deeds, they will receive their punishment, it isn't for us to decide what that is. Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves so that we may let go of them and what they did. The memory is still there but the emotional charge that eats us alive isn't.
You don't forgive to release them, you forgive to release you.
What a wonderful day!!
I got up this morning and remembered to do my gratitude list while in the shower. Which lead to remembering the first time I had stage fright (Christmas play where I played St Nick (only because I spoke french and this was a french part in an English play) and as I am to hand over the doll house to the "child", it falls apart and crashed to the floor, everyone laughs and I forget my line and I run off the stage in tears and completely humiliated - and I see my dad and step mom laughing too. That lead to me remember the time I was at the Miss Teen Pageant (provincial qualifier) and didn't get picked to go to the semi final round and I ran off stage in tears and completely humiliated (I'm starting to see a pattern here). And then I started to flash back (or is that forward) to the times where I tried to speak publicly (at conventions and such) and got all panicky and forgot what to say and my head spinning and heart pounding and and and ... So I tapped on it for several minutes, 10 I think, including forgiving those that laughed at me and forced me to do these things.
Then when I started to get dressed I decided to look at myself in the full length mirror and talk to myself the way I talk to my son, encouraging, loving, non judgemental, and tell myself I love me, then I started flashing on all the times men told me I was frigid, stupid, all the men who hurt me and abandoned me (starting with my dad of course, didn't he set the stage for my life after all?), so I tapped and tapped and forgave them and forgave myself and then I incorporated some loving affirmations and looked myself in the eye and I saw the twinkle appear.
Amazing stuff!
So my day has been amazing!
Then when I started to get dressed I decided to look at myself in the full length mirror and talk to myself the way I talk to my son, encouraging, loving, non judgemental, and tell myself I love me, then I started flashing on all the times men told me I was frigid, stupid, all the men who hurt me and abandoned me (starting with my dad of course, didn't he set the stage for my life after all?), so I tapped and tapped and forgave them and forgave myself and then I incorporated some loving affirmations and looked myself in the eye and I saw the twinkle appear.
Amazing stuff!
So my day has been amazing!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Robert Smith HealingMAGIK
I've been watching his videos on Youtube (in order) and there are 379 of them, and I am going through so much stuff just going along with his sessions. What a lot of releasing I am doing.
It's amazing stuff.
It's amazing stuff.
Fill In the Blank Thursday
I saw this on un-blog-evable.blogspot and decided I would "borrow" it
1. I am currently obsessed with: EFT, Tapping with Brad Yates and Margaret Lynch
2. Today I am: sad and out of sorts because I rescued a cat and brought it to the SPCA and it passed all of its health tests and then it was neutered for adoption and it got a cat cold the day after surgery. Nonetheless and brought it home on the foster-me-first program (it remains the property of the SPCA) and over the last 5 days it has gotten worse and I had to bring it back to the SPCA because I couldn't give it the medicine it needed to get better, subcutaneous injections, pills and liquid medicine. Not to mention its adverse reaction to the pills, it's all too much (emotionally) for me. I feel very responsible right now, and sad.
3. The age I am is: 45 and the age I feel is: 25!!!!
4. My favorite place is: In the power of intention
5. Something I have been procrastinating is: Doing my taxes...
6. The last thing I purchased was: lunch at Tim Horton's; a chicken snacker, a cruller and a double double.
7. The thing I love most about my home is: the burnt orange curtains in the living room. They make me feel warm and loved, I know it is very strange.
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Tag you're it!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Secret - 30 days of it! (Started March 7 2011)
This is the 3rd day that I have watched the movie The Secret. I decided that I would watch it everyday for 30 days and see what happens.
It's concepts are some I have never heard of or even considered (well especially if I've never heard of them) but I am open minded enough to consider what they talk about.
I find that there is a lot of humor in this movie. My favorite line is when Bob Proctor talks about electricity and he says "I know you can cook a man's dinner with electricity, but you can also cook the man". That's too funny!
There are other gems in there as well.
All I know is that my life isn't where it could be and I hold the power to change it, no one else.
Just me.
It's concepts are some I have never heard of or even considered (well especially if I've never heard of them) but I am open minded enough to consider what they talk about.
I find that there is a lot of humor in this movie. My favorite line is when Bob Proctor talks about electricity and he says "I know you can cook a man's dinner with electricity, but you can also cook the man". That's too funny!
There are other gems in there as well.
All I know is that my life isn't where it could be and I hold the power to change it, no one else.
Just me.
Language of the Soul with Robert Smith
OMG!
I just finished watching the 6 videos that make up a lecture that Robert Smith has on Youtube called the Language of the Soul. There is one exercise that he has us do and I picked a particular memory I have of my mother and although I've always knows I had that memory, I've never allowed myself to really feel it because of the terror of the moment. But I let myself go back there and feel it so that I could let it go. Then he asks to go to a happy memory, and I chose the moment my son was born and they placed him on my chest, in the delivery room I remember shouting "It's a boy! It's a boy!" and my hands went up to my chest as it did 25 years ago and hold this little baby and I'm crying tears of joy.
But what I found amazing was that in the memory, I held out my baby to my mother and introduced her to her new grandson and I was laughing and crying with her. What's amazing is that her and I were 1500 miles apart when my son was born.
Then Robert says to go back to the bad memory to see how strong it still was and I am there as the adult I am now looking at what is about to happen to the 7 year old me and I called out to my mother "Mom, it's ok mom, come here!" I see her turn around and I take her in my arms and tell her I forgive her, and she starts to cry and I am sobbing. And in this version, the 7 year old me is spared the terror.
When I took my mother in my arms I felt all the rage and frustration and fear that she felt at that moment and I saw how her own mother had traumatized her. My mother loved me with the same amount of love that her mother loved her and probably how her mother's mother loved her daugther.
I don't feel terrorized anymore.
I just finished watching the 6 videos that make up a lecture that Robert Smith has on Youtube called the Language of the Soul. There is one exercise that he has us do and I picked a particular memory I have of my mother and although I've always knows I had that memory, I've never allowed myself to really feel it because of the terror of the moment. But I let myself go back there and feel it so that I could let it go. Then he asks to go to a happy memory, and I chose the moment my son was born and they placed him on my chest, in the delivery room I remember shouting "It's a boy! It's a boy!" and my hands went up to my chest as it did 25 years ago and hold this little baby and I'm crying tears of joy.
But what I found amazing was that in the memory, I held out my baby to my mother and introduced her to her new grandson and I was laughing and crying with her. What's amazing is that her and I were 1500 miles apart when my son was born.
Then Robert says to go back to the bad memory to see how strong it still was and I am there as the adult I am now looking at what is about to happen to the 7 year old me and I called out to my mother "Mom, it's ok mom, come here!" I see her turn around and I take her in my arms and tell her I forgive her, and she starts to cry and I am sobbing. And in this version, the 7 year old me is spared the terror.
When I took my mother in my arms I felt all the rage and frustration and fear that she felt at that moment and I saw how her own mother had traumatized her. My mother loved me with the same amount of love that her mother loved her and probably how her mother's mother loved her daugther.
I don't feel terrorized anymore.
What the picture of the tree signifies to me
I came across this picture on my page in the public domain (no copyright infringements I hope **) and it reminded me of me.
I had an epiphany years earlier that I was like an acorn, yearning to break free but not knowing how or even if it was possible. The pressure to break free was so intense that it lead me to therapy. One day, I realized that I was that acorn and that I had started to germinate and I was becoming an oak tree.
Seeing the picture of the naked oak tree (vulnerable) behind the oak tree (being shielded) by leaves covering its branches is what I feel like I have become. The leaves represent my continued evolution of self and the many leaves represent the many facets of who I am.
Like the acorn I once was, I am now a mighty oak which renews itself constantly and offers comfort (strength) to those that seek it.
--------------
** if this is your picture, please let me know and I will add the acknowledgment and link back to you. Thank you now for allowing me to find it.
I had an epiphany years earlier that I was like an acorn, yearning to break free but not knowing how or even if it was possible. The pressure to break free was so intense that it lead me to therapy. One day, I realized that I was that acorn and that I had started to germinate and I was becoming an oak tree.
Seeing the picture of the naked oak tree (vulnerable) behind the oak tree (being shielded) by leaves covering its branches is what I feel like I have become. The leaves represent my continued evolution of self and the many leaves represent the many facets of who I am.
Like the acorn I once was, I am now a mighty oak which renews itself constantly and offers comfort (strength) to those that seek it.
--------------
** if this is your picture, please let me know and I will add the acknowledgment and link back to you. Thank you now for allowing me to find it.
I am declaring to the Universe my intentions
So, I am declaring here, today, that I have an intention. According to the law of attraction (LOA), I am stating what I want manifested in my life and that is being an EFT coach.
I have believed for many years that I have had a higher calling, but I didn't know what it was. All I know was that it involved speaking to groups of people. But because I had zero self esteem, self worth and self confidence, I always dismissed that vision as not for me. [Also, many years ago, I attended a church for a while with a friend, and there was a man there who the congregation believed was a seer. I didn't know this about him as I was new. One day, after service, my friend and I gathered with a smaller group and went for brunch. I was extremely shy and I didn't speak or make eye contact with anyone at the table. Out of nowhere, this man turns to me and says "I see you talking and people weep at your knowledge". People became extremely excited and started congratulating me. I was quite upset at the explosion of attention and I was petrified at what this man said to me. He didn't look at me the rest of the brunch and I never went back.]
These last few days, and weeks, I feel that I have been led by breadcrumbs of visions, little itty-bitty pieces of visions that have rung true with me every step of the way. These visions are so real that when I have them, I can feel myself vibrating healthy energy and I can taste and smell where I am, on a stage, in front of a podium.
I remember telling my therapist one day that I had had these visions for years where I saw myself talking to people but that I didn't know about what. All I knew for sure, as sure as I breathe, was that it had to do with my life experiences and healing. The pull was so strong that it made me cry out of frustration. Like being on a deserted island, hungry and alone, and just off to the distance I could see people on another island, living life and happy, but I couldn't figure out how to get over there. It was too far to swim and there were sharks in the water, no wood to build a raft.
I know this truth about me as sure as I know the sun will rise tomorrow. My calling in life is to help others out of despair and into a life that they were intended to live. And EFT will do that.
So, Universe, here is my intention! And in following the LOA, I am stating what I want as though I already have it. I AM an EFT coach and a healer. I AM earning the money that I have always wanted to earn but felt too ashamed to ask for. I AM attracting the people that need to be healed.
Like the breadcrumbs that lead me to EFT, so are those seeking healing attracted to me.
This is my universal declaration of love for myself.
En theos, so be it.
I have believed for many years that I have had a higher calling, but I didn't know what it was. All I know was that it involved speaking to groups of people. But because I had zero self esteem, self worth and self confidence, I always dismissed that vision as not for me. [Also, many years ago, I attended a church for a while with a friend, and there was a man there who the congregation believed was a seer. I didn't know this about him as I was new. One day, after service, my friend and I gathered with a smaller group and went for brunch. I was extremely shy and I didn't speak or make eye contact with anyone at the table. Out of nowhere, this man turns to me and says "I see you talking and people weep at your knowledge". People became extremely excited and started congratulating me. I was quite upset at the explosion of attention and I was petrified at what this man said to me. He didn't look at me the rest of the brunch and I never went back.]
These last few days, and weeks, I feel that I have been led by breadcrumbs of visions, little itty-bitty pieces of visions that have rung true with me every step of the way. These visions are so real that when I have them, I can feel myself vibrating healthy energy and I can taste and smell where I am, on a stage, in front of a podium.
I remember telling my therapist one day that I had had these visions for years where I saw myself talking to people but that I didn't know about what. All I knew for sure, as sure as I breathe, was that it had to do with my life experiences and healing. The pull was so strong that it made me cry out of frustration. Like being on a deserted island, hungry and alone, and just off to the distance I could see people on another island, living life and happy, but I couldn't figure out how to get over there. It was too far to swim and there were sharks in the water, no wood to build a raft.
I know this truth about me as sure as I know the sun will rise tomorrow. My calling in life is to help others out of despair and into a life that they were intended to live. And EFT will do that.
So, Universe, here is my intention! And in following the LOA, I am stating what I want as though I already have it. I AM an EFT coach and a healer. I AM earning the money that I have always wanted to earn but felt too ashamed to ask for. I AM attracting the people that need to be healed.
Like the breadcrumbs that lead me to EFT, so are those seeking healing attracted to me.
This is my universal declaration of love for myself.
En theos, so be it.
Before and after, and before
Here's something to wrap the brain around.
Can a moment, situation or time be two things at once?
I think it can, and it can be more than 2 things at once.
Here's what I mean.
Today, this very moment is both a before and an after, or an after and a before.
One year ago, I started to look for a house to buy. One year ago today, is the before of my current situation. It is also the after of that same situation. Now, today is both a before of what will be one year to the day and it is an after of what will be in one year.
Here's another way to explain it.
A wanna be body builder takes a picture of himself today to compare. That picture is the before right? It is also the after picture of himself after he made the decision to change his life. Now if this same bodybuilder takes a new picture every month until his goal, those pictures are both before and after pictures - simultaneously.
Every moment is both a before and an after of this moment in time. Cool huh? These moments are used to measure progress (or set backs depending which way you are focusing)and every moment can be the moment that changes our lives. Moment by moment.
Before and after.
After and before.
Can a moment, situation or time be two things at once?
I think it can, and it can be more than 2 things at once.
Here's what I mean.
Today, this very moment is both a before and an after, or an after and a before.
One year ago, I started to look for a house to buy. One year ago today, is the before of my current situation. It is also the after of that same situation. Now, today is both a before of what will be one year to the day and it is an after of what will be in one year.
Here's another way to explain it.
A wanna be body builder takes a picture of himself today to compare. That picture is the before right? It is also the after picture of himself after he made the decision to change his life. Now if this same bodybuilder takes a new picture every month until his goal, those pictures are both before and after pictures - simultaneously.
Every moment is both a before and an after of this moment in time. Cool huh? These moments are used to measure progress (or set backs depending which way you are focusing)and every moment can be the moment that changes our lives. Moment by moment.
Before and after.
After and before.
Monday, March 7, 2011
I have an emotional cold...
I've been on an emotional high all week and this morning I feel like a freight train ran me over but it's not a (physical) cold, I think it's an emotional one.
So, since being kind to myself is now part of my vocabulary, I am taking the day off. In the past I would have dragged myself in, been miserable all day and wished I had just stayed home. Well, since I have sick days or personal days or whatever this day will be entered in my time sheet - accumulated, I AM being nice to myself.
I am playing hooky! I am having a one day vacation! I (my body) is calling in "not available" today!
I'm not going to worry or feel bad or guilty as I am just going to let this day be what it is going to be.
A ME Day!
So, since being kind to myself is now part of my vocabulary, I am taking the day off. In the past I would have dragged myself in, been miserable all day and wished I had just stayed home. Well, since I have sick days or personal days or whatever this day will be entered in my time sheet - accumulated, I AM being nice to myself.
I am playing hooky! I am having a one day vacation! I (my body) is calling in "not available" today!
I'm not going to worry or feel bad or guilty as I am just going to let this day be what it is going to be.
A ME Day!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Some interesting stuff has happened since I started tapping...
It's been a full week now that I have started using tapping or EFT.
First, my reaction to the Love Your Body (weight-loss ?) video and how it affected me. I cleared some truths (that I didn't even know were there) at such a deep level that in the past it would have taken me years to dig through. Yes - years. The depth that I accessed in that one session has stayed with me since. It continues to resonate even now. My view of food has shifted. My view of my self has shifted. My view of my physical body has shifted. And I still have this sense of calm about me. I feel happier at a deeper level. In the past, I had been able to touch this depth only with the help of marijuana. It would drop me from the present into the feelings by bypassing the fear of reliving the memory. Tapping kept me in the present (where it is safe) and let the emotions flow forward without causing me to be overwhelmed by the process. (I can't verbalize this any differently).
When I explained this to me therapist yesterday, he explained it as an alignment of planets, the physical, emotional and spiritual planes aligning to provide insight and truth and healing. Pot used to drop me into emotion and never lasted past the initial experience and perhaps the next day or two.
The effects of tapping is still with me now.
I used it to stay calm and centered at work. To overcome cravings to binge eat on sweets. I even used it to lessen the pain in my neck.
It works on everything, even attracting money (which I am currently working on to bringing into my life).
I start my day with a tapping session or two, I'll do a discreet tapping at work to boost the morning session if need be and I'll do another at night, plus I listen to audios of EFT/Tapping masters.
This is the gift I am giving myself. A renewed life energy, mental energy and spiritual.
I feel so contented at this moment that I want the world to share in this amazing experience.
First, my reaction to the Love Your Body (weight-loss ?) video and how it affected me. I cleared some truths (that I didn't even know were there) at such a deep level that in the past it would have taken me years to dig through. Yes - years. The depth that I accessed in that one session has stayed with me since. It continues to resonate even now. My view of food has shifted. My view of my self has shifted. My view of my physical body has shifted. And I still have this sense of calm about me. I feel happier at a deeper level. In the past, I had been able to touch this depth only with the help of marijuana. It would drop me from the present into the feelings by bypassing the fear of reliving the memory. Tapping kept me in the present (where it is safe) and let the emotions flow forward without causing me to be overwhelmed by the process. (I can't verbalize this any differently).
When I explained this to me therapist yesterday, he explained it as an alignment of planets, the physical, emotional and spiritual planes aligning to provide insight and truth and healing. Pot used to drop me into emotion and never lasted past the initial experience and perhaps the next day or two.
The effects of tapping is still with me now.
I used it to stay calm and centered at work. To overcome cravings to binge eat on sweets. I even used it to lessen the pain in my neck.
It works on everything, even attracting money (which I am currently working on to bringing into my life).
I start my day with a tapping session or two, I'll do a discreet tapping at work to boost the morning session if need be and I'll do another at night, plus I listen to audios of EFT/Tapping masters.
This is the gift I am giving myself. A renewed life energy, mental energy and spiritual.
I feel so contented at this moment that I want the world to share in this amazing experience.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The Red Room - 2011 Tapping World Summit
The Red Room - 2011 Tapping World Summit
I'm listening to Margaret Lynch. She is very good at tapping on money issues, getting rid of negative money issues that block money from getting to us and on how to attract more of it to us. Money is energy like everything else.
And boy do I have some sick issues about money! Which I am working on clearing.
Rome wasn't built in a day!
I'm listening to Margaret Lynch. She is very good at tapping on money issues, getting rid of negative money issues that block money from getting to us and on how to attract more of it to us. Money is energy like everything else.
And boy do I have some sick issues about money! Which I am working on clearing.
Rome wasn't built in a day!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Started this morning with tapping for energy
This morning, I tapped along to another of Brad Yates tapping videos called "I'm Too Tired".
My whole day was good, although there was a time when I had nothing to do so I kept yawning. But what surprised me the most was how "not" tired I was on the bus coming home. Usually, I feel drained and anxious to get home and get into my pjs, but today I kept marveling that I wasn't drained and when I got home I felt like I could have gone out to meet friends or something similar, which I haven't done in so long I can't remember. And if I did have to go somewhere after work for something, I wasn't happy about it and worried myself into resenting having to go somewhere. Which explains why I haven't dated in sooooo long.
So, another day of calm serenity... and mental energy which is a strange feeling...
My whole day was good, although there was a time when I had nothing to do so I kept yawning. But what surprised me the most was how "not" tired I was on the bus coming home. Usually, I feel drained and anxious to get home and get into my pjs, but today I kept marveling that I wasn't drained and when I got home I felt like I could have gone out to meet friends or something similar, which I haven't done in so long I can't remember. And if I did have to go somewhere after work for something, I wasn't happy about it and worried myself into resenting having to go somewhere. Which explains why I haven't dated in sooooo long.
So, another day of calm serenity... and mental energy which is a strange feeling...
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